Wednesday, February 27, 2008 @ 11:58 PM,
Goodbye
This will be my last post on this blog. For a few months now, I've started a new one here. Why, some may ask. Although this blog holds a lot of dear memories for me, I feel that I lost myself in the midst of my posts. I stopped writing for ME. Blogging, and writing in general, became such a chore for me to do that I would resent the times I was forced to write.
I love writing, and I do not want to hate it forever. I want to take care of something I am so passionate about. And so I stopped blogging. After a few months, after I stopped hating to write, I wanted to try out again. I realized that I need not write everything. I can still be the MASTER of my blog. And so I chose to write again, but this time, on a different avenue.
I call it my metamorphosis not from an ugly caterpillar to a beautiful butterfly but from an insecure writer to a mature one. I am talking about maturity here in the sense that I know what I WANT to write and what I CAN write. Most of them are still rants, but hey, what can I do. I matured because I realized who I was really writing for: MYSELF.
Still, you are welcome if you want to drop by. I'm still fixing my blog (I forgot most of the technical aspects in my absence) but I'm getting there slowly but surely--on my own time and pace.
Thank you for sharing wickedly purple with me. :) Though I am not proud of some of the things I wrote, all of this blog represents a big part of who I am, and to have shared it with wonderful people made it all worth it. :D
I love writing, and I do not want to hate it forever. I want to take care of something I am so passionate about. And so I stopped blogging. After a few months, after I stopped hating to write, I wanted to try out again. I realized that I need not write everything. I can still be the MASTER of my blog. And so I chose to write again, but this time, on a different avenue.
I call it my metamorphosis not from an ugly caterpillar to a beautiful butterfly but from an insecure writer to a mature one. I am talking about maturity here in the sense that I know what I WANT to write and what I CAN write. Most of them are still rants, but hey, what can I do. I matured because I realized who I was really writing for: MYSELF.
Still, you are welcome if you want to drop by. I'm still fixing my blog (I forgot most of the technical aspects in my absence) but I'm getting there slowly but surely--on my own time and pace.
Thank you for sharing wickedly purple with me. :) Though I am not proud of some of the things I wrote, all of this blog represents a big part of who I am, and to have shared it with wonderful people made it all worth it. :D
Thursday, June 28, 2007 @ 1:56 AM,
out of hiatus
I'm officially out of the hiatus I (unofficionally) set upon my blog. I know I promised myself I would write the whole summer, but logistics, and maybe a little effort (or lack, thereof), was the problem. I've been in school for two and a half weeks already, and I just found time to write again. Although I can't write as much as before, I really want to update so that my blog won't just be a waste of bandwidth and intellectual space.
The main problem is not the time constraints, anyway. Writing has become a chore for me to do, that I can't seem to do it for pleasure only nowadays. That's sad, considering that writing is one of the things I am most passionate about.
This blog, too, became more of a chore than of an outlet for me at one point. And I am trying to change that. Starting with this. I might move to livejournal. I don't know. Should I?
The main problem is not the time constraints, anyway. Writing has become a chore for me to do, that I can't seem to do it for pleasure only nowadays. That's sad, considering that writing is one of the things I am most passionate about.
This blog, too, became more of a chore than of an outlet for me at one point. And I am trying to change that. Starting with this. I might move to livejournal. I don't know. Should I?
Tuesday, April 10, 2007 @ 3:30 PM,
hot summer blues
I'm back in Batangas. Back in my room, our house, our street. Low trikes, higher fare. One-ride-to-anywhere jeepneys. Television. Dial-up. I haven't unpacked yet. My clothes, shoes, books, and bags are in luggage, paper bags, and plastic bags strewn all around my room. I guess I'm happy to be back. But I'm still getting used to everything again. This week, I'll be commuting back to Ateneo for a couple of days for our Lit play practice and re-staging, and report card day.
I do not look forward to that. I don't think I'll be happy with me Eng/Lit grades, which is sad because I enjoyed the subjects this sem more than I did last sem. But I had a lot of other things going for me and I just wasn't able to put my everything into it. And now I'm regretting it because I won't have English again, for the rest of my college life (that is, if I don't take up a minor either in Creative Writing or Lit-Eng). Physics lecture is, as expected, one big PFFT. I got a good grade on Lab though. I don't even want to think about math. I don't know about Fil. I know I am being grade concsious but I really want those grades. Godo and I have always talked about our grades (we're both aiming for something in the grade department) and it looks like we're both going to be disappointed by our expectations. Though knowing Godo, he'll be pessimistic about everything and then get an As. Haha.
It's not that grades are everything for me. But they are a reflection of how well I am doing. They mirror what I did last sem. I had exemplary advisory marks. But I didn't give my all to my academics for the remainder of the semester. I feel I could have done more - I could have been better - but I was too lazy to push myself. I became complacent. Yet again. I don't regret joining all the extra-curricular activities I did but I do regret not managing my time better.
I always think that I have all the time in my hands when I really don't. I end up cramming something I could've started and finished hours, days ago. I think I've gotten worse through the years. I need to be able to manage my time better. All that crap about cramming and getting good grades is just that - ABSOLUTE CRAP. I don't know about other schools, but Ateneo demands a lot from its students. Even though I just took 16 units last semester I felt as if I was taking double the amount. The high school style of cramming will not work. Sometimes, yes. But it will not save the day always.
It took me two semesters to realize that. I just hope I remember it through this god-awful heat all the way to next sem.
I do not look forward to that. I don't think I'll be happy with me Eng/Lit grades, which is sad because I enjoyed the subjects this sem more than I did last sem. But I had a lot of other things going for me and I just wasn't able to put my everything into it. And now I'm regretting it because I won't have English again, for the rest of my college life (that is, if I don't take up a minor either in Creative Writing or Lit-Eng). Physics lecture is, as expected, one big PFFT. I got a good grade on Lab though. I don't even want to think about math. I don't know about Fil. I know I am being grade concsious but I really want those grades. Godo and I have always talked about our grades (we're both aiming for something in the grade department) and it looks like we're both going to be disappointed by our expectations. Though knowing Godo, he'll be pessimistic about everything and then get an As. Haha.
It's not that grades are everything for me. But they are a reflection of how well I am doing. They mirror what I did last sem. I had exemplary advisory marks. But I didn't give my all to my academics for the remainder of the semester. I feel I could have done more - I could have been better - but I was too lazy to push myself. I became complacent. Yet again. I don't regret joining all the extra-curricular activities I did but I do regret not managing my time better.
I always think that I have all the time in my hands when I really don't. I end up cramming something I could've started and finished hours, days ago. I think I've gotten worse through the years. I need to be able to manage my time better. All that crap about cramming and getting good grades is just that - ABSOLUTE CRAP. I don't know about other schools, but Ateneo demands a lot from its students. Even though I just took 16 units last semester I felt as if I was taking double the amount. The high school style of cramming will not work. Sometimes, yes. But it will not save the day always.
It took me two semesters to realize that. I just hope I remember it through this god-awful heat all the way to next sem.
Monday, March 19, 2007 @ 9:09 PM,
viva la musicale
I've never been much of a music person - it has always been books, books, and more books for me. I read, that's what I do. Besides, I have a hard time remembering titles and authors enough as it is, so it's harder for me to remember lyrics, titles, and singers. See, Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls is my favorite song, but until now, I don't know all of the lyrics.
That's how hopeless I am :( I feel bad that I can't remember the lyrics to my own favorite song, but that's just the way it is. Other music buffs would say that I am not a true music person. Well, I'm really not. I don't do songs. I have a limited knowledge of tunes, and I confess it falls mostly under the cheesy pop category. Heck, I can't even make pop cultural references to the Backstreet Boys.
I guess it stems from growing up in a non-musical family. We never had any radio in the house, and we don't have cable so it's hard to tune in to all those music channels. I don't really buy cds (I'd much rather spend Php on books) and I don't download mp3s. Those jobs fall to my younger sister. Nevertheless, I did have my share of obsessions, like Westlife and Britney - yes Britney! And I'm still hoping for a recovery for her.
Anyway, I'm going way beyond my topic, which is explaining my title. *points above* Earlier during Lit class our group presented a report on the musical. We were given a free reign to choose a topic concerning drama and we chose Rent.
I can't say I love Rent because I've only seen the play and it was mediocre, and really sub-par compared to the theater production itself. But, I did like it. Years back, I hesitated in reading/watching it because I thought that the whole concept of AIDS and Bohemia were too much for me. Well, I found out that it I could handle it. Or maybe because I've grown up since then. In any case, I was able to appreciate it, especially the songs.
I don't remember the lyrics or tune (I swear I am tone deaf. I can imagine or play the song in my head, but I can't translate it to my vocal chords, haha) but I know they are beautiful. I don't know what they thought of our report, but I was happy with it :) Especially with my powerpoint presentation! haha. The last powerpoint I made was too animation heavy so Ethan (my laptop) lagged, so this time, I made it a point to decorate the slides without using animation. It turned out pretty good anyway.
So this is just an ego boost of myself, in the end. I need it naman so pagbigyan na. hahaha. As I was saying earlier: "THIS WEEK IS THE CULMINATION OF MY HELL SEM."
Stuff to do TONIGHT:
->make Physics paper about Home Alone (so I won't have to do it tomorrow)
->study for Math LT (boohoo, I need at least 86)
That's how hopeless I am :( I feel bad that I can't remember the lyrics to my own favorite song, but that's just the way it is. Other music buffs would say that I am not a true music person. Well, I'm really not. I don't do songs. I have a limited knowledge of tunes, and I confess it falls mostly under the cheesy pop category. Heck, I can't even make pop cultural references to the Backstreet Boys.
I guess it stems from growing up in a non-musical family. We never had any radio in the house, and we don't have cable so it's hard to tune in to all those music channels. I don't really buy cds (I'd much rather spend Php on books) and I don't download mp3s. Those jobs fall to my younger sister. Nevertheless, I did have my share of obsessions, like Westlife and Britney - yes Britney! And I'm still hoping for a recovery for her.
Anyway, I'm going way beyond my topic, which is explaining my title. *points above* Earlier during Lit class our group presented a report on the musical. We were given a free reign to choose a topic concerning drama and we chose Rent.
I can't say I love Rent because I've only seen the play and it was mediocre, and really sub-par compared to the theater production itself. But, I did like it. Years back, I hesitated in reading/watching it because I thought that the whole concept of AIDS and Bohemia were too much for me. Well, I found out that it I could handle it. Or maybe because I've grown up since then. In any case, I was able to appreciate it, especially the songs.
I don't remember the lyrics or tune (I swear I am tone deaf. I can imagine or play the song in my head, but I can't translate it to my vocal chords, haha) but I know they are beautiful. I don't know what they thought of our report, but I was happy with it :) Especially with my powerpoint presentation! haha. The last powerpoint I made was too animation heavy so Ethan (my laptop) lagged, so this time, I made it a point to decorate the slides without using animation. It turned out pretty good anyway.
So this is just an ego boost of myself, in the end. I need it naman so pagbigyan na. hahaha. As I was saying earlier: "THIS WEEK IS THE CULMINATION OF MY HELL SEM."
Stuff to do TONIGHT:
->make Physics paper about Home Alone (so I won't have to do it tomorrow)
->study for Math LT (boohoo, I need at least 86)
Labels: drama, ego boost, hell sem, iris, musical, powerpoints, rent, songs, theater
bad timing
I really do pick the wrong times to start things. Take "reviving" this blog for example. I picked the most inappropriate time to go back to blogging. It's the culmination of my hell sem (yes, hell sem - NOT week, NOT month - HELL SEM) and here I am doing something I've neglected doing for the most part of the school year (or ever since January).
Something just came at me and I logged onto blogger again. Will this last? I don't know. I've realized that what turned me off from blogging was that I felt "forced" to blog - like my blog wasn't mine anymore. Well, I've come back with a vengeance. I know that I still have some responsibility as a citizen of the world wide web, but I am an individual, too - and I need to address that personal need. I need to be personal again.
Anyway, back to picking the wrong time. Like today. I had the whole Sunday to work on my lit analysis paper and lit powerpoint presentation for our group report on Rent. But I procrastinated, and before I know it, I'm going to cram our powerpoint presentation again. I don't think it'll be too difficult anyway, since I just have to put everything on powerpoint. I still need luck, though.
Something just came at me and I logged onto blogger again. Will this last? I don't know. I've realized that what turned me off from blogging was that I felt "forced" to blog - like my blog wasn't mine anymore. Well, I've come back with a vengeance. I know that I still have some responsibility as a citizen of the world wide web, but I am an individual, too - and I need to address that personal need. I need to be personal again.
Anyway, back to picking the wrong time. Like today. I had the whole Sunday to work on my lit analysis paper and lit powerpoint presentation for our group report on Rent. But I procrastinated, and before I know it, I'm going to cram our powerpoint presentation again. I don't think it'll be too difficult anyway, since I just have to put everything on powerpoint. I still need luck, though.
Labels: flash photography, hell sem, lit analysis paper, powerpoints, wrong time
Welcome to my blog, currently on its 16th version. I finally decided to change this layout. The picture I used is from one of those boring afternoons in our dorm. The bubble machine is courtesy of my roommate, Trish. Everything written or shown in this blog is made by yours truly unless otherwise stated. If you think you have credit, just holler and we'll see. I ask everyone to please respect me, my space and my opinion as you can be sure I will respect yours, too. :P It's best viewed in a 1024 x 768 resolution and if you're using IE5+. Would really appreciate your tags and comments! Thanks for visiting! ;)
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